A Final One - a Poignant One

Here I am getting into the car to leave for the church from the home of our dear friends, the Hittler's. I got married in San Jose, but my parents live in Rocklin, so the next best thing was getting ready at the Hittler home -- the home of Family Dinners!! It is an English Tradition for the bride to leave for the church with just her father in the car, and to arrive LATE -- I kept the leave with the father, I did not keep the arrive late, I was on time at 1, but others were late so I had the opportunity to peek through the side door and watch people :)

More weddings posts to come.

Some MORE wedding photos

Laura, Me, AlisonShow me the legs ladies...
Me and my girls...aren't they beautiful?!
Me and my "sisters"
Friends...

It might be a good idea to keep in mind that these are just a few candid shots, courtesy of guests from the wedding, and saved from Facebook -- one of these days I'll get the real deal and post some of those!!

Some Wedding Photos

Dancing with my GranddadMe and the groom -- my husband -- Guillaume

Me with my Maid of Honor - Alison
That would be me -- the Bride!!
Kind of small -- but that is me and the husband with my mum and dad

The day has finally arrived!!! I'm about to skydive in less than 12 hours. Ready or not I'm prepping myself for the jump, see you when I've landed!!!

i went skydiving...and i'm about to again!

I'm getting married in 30 days, can you believe it? I can't. Not really. There are many items left on the ultimate "to do" list and that aside just thinking about getting married seems mind boggling. Earlier today I was mentioning to a friend about the three top things we have to accomplish just this week: wedding bands, restaurant for the later dinner (we did have an option but unfortunately they are going out of business), and monkey suits for Guillaume and his fellow monkeys. I made a face, I think, and further mentioned that my ultimate desire is to just hop skip over all of "this" and to just be married.

A veteran of marriage -- married himself, and been engaged in countless premarital sessions with other couples, he smiled and said "Getting married is like falling off of a cliff, just before you actually fall your whole life flashes before your eyes -- in that split second a lifetime spans the mind..." So on that day -- September 13 -- when I stand opposite Guillaume and prepare to make a commitment for life, a commitment to love, honor, and respect - him, that the past weeks of preparation and checking the list and checking it twice (yes, Santa has been coaching me, thankfully I don't have to decide who's been naughty or nice), that all this will rush through my mind, and before I know it I will be walking back down the aisle known as Mrs. Eleanor Egles!

I appreciated the analogy of getting married being liking falling off of a cliff. For me it is slightly similar to when I went sky diving (yep, four years ago I leapt - ha - out of a plane). My older brother David had jumped numerous times, and in fact had logged 16 (I may just have made that number up, but something along those lines) solo jumps. I was only going to do a tandem jump. But because he had experienced skydiving himself he was quick to share wisdom on what to do, how you hold your arms, what it feels like, and we had seen video footage of his jumps so there was an inkling of what to expect.

The day approached to jump - October 30, 2004 - and the family left early to travel down to Hollister for the jump. Ronnie and Olesia, my younger brother and "sister" were also jumping that same day. The nerves are starting to kick in -- the fact that I'm about to jump out of a plane and race to the ground is now just starting to sink in. Until I was actually in the plane, all suited up, it didn't quite hit what I was about to do. The instructor cues you, snaps you on to him, and before you know it, whoosh out of the airplane door you fly, and down, down you soar, the wind rushing at you, pulling at your face, your muscles contorted this way and that, and then bam - the parachute is pulled and you zoom up slightly, and ease into a gentle, strangely enough soothing descent -- those first few minutes of instantaneous rush have passed, and now you get to enjoy the ride. No amount of prepping from my older brother prepared me for it -- sure, it gave me a deeper understanding, maybe clued me into what I should watch for, but it didn't prepare me for actually experiencing the dive and fall and the rush of emotions - from exhilaration to fear to joy to amazement -- all there.

So, I'm thinking getting married, a wedding is akin to skydiving. No amount of sound advice and wisdom and knowledge that is offered fully prepares you for the day -- yes it gives you perspective, it gives you a broader knowledge base, but until you experience it yourself, you still can't grasp the overwhelming moment that is about to take place. Additionally I know that those first moments of the day, at some point I'm going to be hit with the soaring, I can't believe I'm throwing myself out of an airplane emotion, and then I will settle in for the ride and will enjoy the day with all its intricacies and beauty, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be feeling those same mix of emotions as when I jumped: exhilaration, fear, joy, amazement -- and LOVE, love for the man I'm committing to, love for the family and friends that stand to witness our commitment and pledge to also stand with us as walk this new road, and love for the GOD who loves me so tenderly and so dearly that not only did he send his son, Jesus, to die on a cross for me -- which is more than enough, more than I ever deserve, but he also gifted me with the most amazing and most treasured man -- Guillaume.

On that note I must give in to the sleep that calls me, and I think I'll be blogging next about how the internet is both my "best" friend and worst enemy...especially when it comes to sleeping!!!

photos from "The Best Laid Plans" part 2

Where the keys resided for , well, five hours...the trunk of the Audi A4Guillaume using the on site security's cell phone to call Audi Assistance...
Guillaume said this photo "says it all!!" Ellie (that would be me) expressing her delight at the change of plans...
American Locksmith to the rescue...

photos from "The Best Laid Plans" part 1

Approaching the beach, the sun had made good on burning off the fog...Guillaume astride Geraldine -- his mighty mare for the ride...
Slightly out of order, approaching the beach still -- the fog still lingering...
Guillaume and Ellie astride Geraldine and Rocky...
The beautiful beach/coast of the Monterey Peninsula ...

the mole hills will soon be mountains

I'm sitting here with piles of other things I should be doing -- literally piles: piles of pink envelopes containing wedding invitations which really should have been sent by now, piles of washing that needs to be folded and hung up which really should have been done weeks ago (I have been enacting a new organizational system which includes dumping the clean clothes on the floor, and then in the morning rummaging to find the outfit for the day -- crinkled and all), piles of sliced cheese waiting to be assembled into a cheese and pickle sandwich, piles of dishes waiting to be loaded into the dishwasher -- wait, I did accomplish depleting that pile...

But no, rather than conquer the piles around me, I am on the computer roaming blog after blog, being provoked, poked, and inspired as I hop from one blog to another, as I scroll through postings of other bloggers -- bloggers scattered throughout the country, bloggers whose names I don't know, who write articulately, who wax eloquence, and put forth their ideas, their ideals, their life. All the while as I read running my head is commentary, from the time I got up this morning my mind has been amuck with thoughts bursting at the seams, thoughts just begging to be stretched and pulled into posts...

From being out of tea, to what I threw on to go and get tea bags, to church, to wedding, to tv shows, to apartment postings, to you name it each arena of my life today seems to be rushing through this filter and my mind itches to just sit and write, to whittle away the day expanding on my thoughts...

But alas the piles await me, and as much as I long to continue my journey through the bloggersphere, and wish to lose myself in the art of writing, I do wish to have a somewhat productive day and despite the 100 + wedding invites addressed, no one will be attending if I don't get them out -- only 39 days!!!

Back By Popular Demand

My fiance of four months has been pestering me to return to the blogging world, I believe he perceives my postings to be a window into my crazed soul...

I may have been absent from submitting my own posts, and in truth my mind had been absent from collecting thoughts, but I've reactivated it, I hadn't been absent from the blogging world. I am what is referred to as a lurker. I rarely post a comment on the blogs that I read, and more so I keep adding to the blogs that I view. Recently I discovered some new blogs and I found my afternoon fading into dusk as I read post after post, after blog after blog and I'm always startled by what you discover online. It fascinates me to see how others use the medium of blogging to communicate and socialize in this world.

Primarily through a site called blognosh I found listings of other blogs -- the cool thing about blognosh is that is parcels the postings into categories: politics, family, relationships, etc and so you can discover a specific post, but then if it tickles the senses then you can jump to the blog as a whole.

I've also noticed this quering of the purpose of blogging. Dan Parkins over on the Fire wrote about what his posts have looked like and will look like. A newly discovered blogger here, is currently taking a sabbatical, after having written 2500 posts in 5 years and has come away from the experience slightly drained and bruised -- there seems to have been some intense discussion and discord due to some of his postings. Another blog that I discovered is one of a man who writes anonymously about his and his wife's attempt to get pregnant -- from his perspective, and one of his latest posts was about how after 16 months they are still no closer to getting pregnant and now the humor and challenge has dissipated, and he had numerous comments from readers expressing sympathy and empathy -- people who don't KNOW him but know him to be more real than perhaps the person who they sit beside in the office cubicle.

This blogging world is still an unknown to me. I started blogging two years ago, although my first blog was not this URL. I have waned in recent months in posting as I muled over the purpose of my blogging and what I hope to accomplish through it and with it, if anything. I'm still unclear to what I want my blog to look like, or what I hope to use it for -- at the very least I know it shouldn't be static, but how to bridge that gap is where the waters are murky; at the very least I'm making a slow return to the blogging world!!!

The Best Laid Plans...

The day dawned bright and clear. I had been eagerly anticipating the day. I had planned, although not to the minute a day of enjoyment for Guillaume and I, and I was eager to treat him and make the day a memorable one. Well, it turns out that the day has now become a memorable day, but not perhaps for the reason I had set out for it to be.

Off to Monterey we caverned to actually take a horseback ride along the Pacific Grove Coast, the 17 mile Drive to be precise. The minute we step into the stables area we can see that the horse ride is not perhaps going to be as strenuous as hoped or expected, the horses look a little worn. Looks weren't deceiving in this case, the horses we rode and the horses that are stabled at the Pebble Beach Equestrian Center are on loan from the Heartland Ranch, and are typically the horses that are too old for more than gentle walking, or have step issues. They spend a few years at the stables then back to the ranch to be put out to pasture. Needless to say our ride was a gentle, methodical meandering ride along the coast and through the trees.

However, the scenery was beautiful. The coastline is amazing. We were fortunate that the fog burnt off and that we could enjoy the sun and sea breeze. The horses plodded along. Geraldine nearly sinking into the dunes with Guillaume on her back -- I wasn't sure if it should have been the other way, Geraldine on Guillaume's back ;) (As soon as I pass the camera to Guillaume I'll post some pics).

We both mentally make the best of the ride, realizing that it isn't perhaps what it could have been. For me I'm anticipating FOOD. I had packed a picnic lunch, and was pleased that the weather had cooperated and before us stretched an afternoon of fun in the sun and around Carmel or Monterey. The best laid plans, are just that -- laid but not executed, especially when you add in a secondary person.

We're coming in off the trail and Guillaume asks me, "Do you have your wallet?" Ellie: "No, it's in the car, I'll run and grab a tip." G:" Well, the keys are in the car too -- in the trunk actually." You see Guillaume deviated from his routine and took the car key off of the keys, and in putting things into the trunk had placed the car key between the rubber inlays of the trunk, and proceeded to shut the trunk. He did this prior to the beginning of our ride, but was kind enough not to let me know until AFTER the ride.

Easy, Guillaume says, I'll just borrow a wire hanger and probe and push the button on the key, which is stuck between the trunk and rubber inlays. Hmm, well not so easy as it turns out.

Before I continue let me complete the picture: We are both hungry, thirsty, and everything but the camera (of which the battery was low and then gone, preventing me from capturing the oh so inspiring transpiring events) is in the car -- we have no money, no nada.

Guillaume, who possesses the uncanny ability to merely ask for what he wants proceeds to ask the employee of the Stables for assistance: first she calls the on site security, out they come -- but to no avail, because the Audi A4 is theft preventable, and a simple door unlocking device (Read flat metal pole) is not going to penetrate the Audi wall of protection. Meanwhile Guillaume has procured use of the stables' internet to discover the Audi Assistance number. Finally reach them, establish a connection. Around 3PM we receive the call back, they will be there within 30 minutes - GREAT!!

Locksmith arrives 330PM (by now we've been semi stranded for two hours), locksmith pumps open the door, in goes the narrow metal prod, angled just so. And prod and poke he does -- for 60 minutes...Guillaume offers instructions, the locksmith asks if Guillaume happens to be an engineer, I promptly answer "YES!!!" I've given up, I wander off to find a patch of grass and contemplate whether it is ok to bargain with God. I hear a faint clap and chime of the alarm. Still reluctant to get my hopes up, I stay situated. Another 10 minutes pass, and yes we are in -- wallets, phones, keys, LIFE safely back in our possession. 3 and a half hours past the time we finished the ride.

You can rest assured that Guillaume will NOT live this down, and he checks surreptitiously for his keys at all times now. We also learnt just how dependent we are on things, and not necessarily people. We learnt about each other (I don't do well when I don't eat), (oh I'm rather tenacious), and much more. One is the fact of our dependence on things versus our dependence on people, and at the very least my reluctance to ask people for aid (it wasn't as if all hope was lost and we were stranded on some desert island...) -- but more on that in the future posts!!

I'm leaving all the days out to Guillaume from here on out...

summer holiday

We're all going on a summer holiday
no more working for a week or two.
Fun and laughter on our summer holiday,
no more worries for me or you,
for a week or two.

We're going where the sun shines brightly
we're going where the sea is blue.
we've all seen it on the movies,
now let's see if it's true.

Everybody has a summer holiday
doin' things they always wanted to
So we're going on a summer holiday,
to make our dreams come true
for me and you.
for me and you.

Lyrics courtesy of Cliff Richards. As children in England we would sing this changing “work” to “school”…but English school children don’t start their summer holiday until the end of July and go back beginning of September. Imagine my brother and I’s delight when we moved to California and discovered we were released to summer vacation in early June (and my parents’ dismay)!!

Marissa is on cloud nine now that summer vacation is upon us. Every morning there is a different variation of her unique summer vacation song, and this grin that splits her face and makes her eyes sparkle is ever present.

She likes “school” – she only goes three days a week, mornings only, yet something innate seemed to kick in with the announcement of the advent of summer vacation and the end of school for a season. Her exuberance for life has only been heightened by this release to freedom. Everything is cause for celebration – going for a walk, the shining sun, the time to have picnics, not rush to get dressed, summer projects – right now as I write this she is busy at play (I wrote this a few days ago) – I’ve offered to play, I have projects awaiting her attention, but she is more than content to busy herself with pretend play. There is a steady stream of chatter from her as she directs the ‘Little People” and creates vivid stories – the ‘Little People' are going on a trip – the airplane needed fixing – everything is plotted and thought out, yet the story flows with ease.

My job has always been much more than a job – if my eyes and ears are open I learn something each and every day I’m with Marissa and Michael.

The simple pleasure of enjoying life – of expressing enthusiasm for life, of walking with exuberance unable to stop that slight skip, and certainly never able to stop that song . We do each have a song to sing, if only we embraced that freedom and sang it aloud, or at the very least loud enough for God to hear it.

So here’s to summer vacation and all things summery!! (Besides this is my last summer as a non married woman, 80 days -- I even have Guillaume tracking the days)!!!

play doh

I have a love-hate relationship with play doh. I enjoy that squishy sensation, that ability to squeeze and mold to my heart's content, and crumple it back into a blob if I'm not satisfied with the finished product. I like the vibrancy of colors (although I've yet to see truffle chocolate or raspberry pink), and the challenge to not mix the colors, yet the joy of in the right combination of colors.

Yet that smell, that slightly salty smell and bitter taste that lingers on your hands, that greasy sensation between your fingers, that even with soap still persists. And don't get me started on the germs (ok, well I don't need any starting because I was heading there anyway!) The germs from your hand that are captured in the "doh" - I am slightly neurotic about washing hands before playing with "doh," but still. Think about it. The germs from your hands to the doh, and then the doh is caught back and sealed in the airtight pot, preserving the germs for the next use.

I hope that the slight salty substance is what perhaps keeps the germs at bay; but still when it comes to playing with play doh, I have to turn off that part of my brain or I'd never touch the stuff!!

Just a short one today -- more to come...81 days (I have a blog just about that set to hit the press in the next day or so, not to mention the previous blogs that were deleted prior, and then there's the amazing accomplishment of my pastor completing an Ironman race this past weekend, plus all those over ones that I hinted at in the previous post). Anywho, like I said best to shut my mind off from a few things :)