"sparks"

"Dear Carolyn: What do you think about dating someone with whom there is interest but not so much a 'spark' at first? I think it's just fine, as I think the attraction can build over time, and also, why cut someone out prematurely? A friend argues that if there is no 'spark' at first, it's doomed in the end. Chicago.

Dear Chicago: I think your friend should talk to all the people whose sparky relationships turned out to be doomed once the sparks ceased to fly. This isn't to argue that all instant physical attractions die out eventually. Attractions can be instant and enduring, gradual and enduring, gradual and ephemeral, or doggedly non-existent. It's simply to argue that all absolutes die out eventually - usually with a force roughly proportionate to the certainty we demand from them. You let your expectations reflect reality. Your friend wants reality to reflect expectations. Maybe that's enough said." (San Jose Mercury News).