just jump

I was a tom boy when I was young, I can pretty much tell you to which point I stopped being one -- whether it is accurate or not, I think I equate moving to the States as the turning point. I suppose the transformation had started before I left but because the "move" makes for consistent point in time it is often easier to lump all changes into that time frame.

But a tomboy I was, but in the non traditional sense. I still played Barbies - in fact my friend and I would overtake my parents' house with all our Barbue paraphenlia. (Well Barbies and Cindi dolls). I spent a lot of my time playing pretend: pretending to be teacher, a travel agent, a bank teller, post mistress, office worker - and it wasn't just played out in the head. I had papework for each game of pretend. School work that I would grade and roll sheets...my travel agent names was "doggie holiday" - my friend and I had ink stamps and we used those to stamp out our approval on the holidays. Her mum would get bunches of catalogs and we would use these to price the trips, and we would compete to see who had booked the most expensive holiday.

Yet I remember family trips to "Queens Down Warren" and "..." (hey mum when you read this can you post the other place we went to?! TA). And I would climb trees with the best of them, the best of them being my two brothers. I would roll down the hills. I would ride my bike around the neighborhood and come flying down these steep hills and ride without holding on, and we (my friend and I) would take off the monkey park - which we were supposed to go to...! I would play tag with all the boys while my classmates were dating them... *Laugh* In fact one time we were playing tag and I had inadvertantly broken the skin of male classmate and he was going to tell the teacher. Well, that would never do because I was a prime canidate for "teacher's pet" and well I threatened the boy and told him if he tattled on me, I would beat him up. He must have believed me because he never did tell.

What I remember most about childhood is that I didn't fear. I didn't fear the heights, I didn't fear getting dirty, I didn't fear the steep hills, I had no fear. Something happens along the way from childhood to adulthood and we start to fear. We get caught in the trap of knowledge, and we begin to fear, begin to worry. We begin to allow that fear and worry to stop us from living life to the fullest. Just like on the trampoline, I feared dropping to my knees and bouncing back up, but once I got up the courage - which took a few takes, I couldn't get enough - I was having a blast.

Life is that way, for me at least. I like to think I don't worry, that I don't fear. But I think I do. I think I get caught up in the knowledge and forget to just live. To jump the flight of stairs, to roll, to climb, to swing, to ride, to jump...there is something about children, and for me something about my own childhood that when I look back on it I wish again for that exuberance, that abundance of life.

When Jesus said that the little children would inherit the earth - be like little children...I see the truth of that. Of living a life of faith like a child. Casting of the fear, not living to the knowledge but living to joy of life. Living life with exuberance and abundance. Didn't Christ himself say he has come to bring life, and life abundantly?!

To live like that Ellie of yester years....