"mwarriage...is...what...brings...us...together..."

I was driving up to my parents on Thursday with mum and younger brother in the car, and we were talking about plans or something - to be honest I am not entirely sure how we ended up on the topic of marriage, or more importantly this statement that my brother made: he said I am too focused on marriage, that my vision for my life currently revolves around marriage.

His comment made me think...is that how I come across? I don't want it to be. For so long I shunned marriage for my life, the reasons were various and numerous and were often dependent on the circumstance of the time. For instance when I first moved here from England, I didn't want to date an American because I was (and am to some degree) under the impression that dating leads to marriage, and I didn't want to marry an American, because then my children would be American!!!

Now though I don't want to seem a petulant child to God. It is as if He knew all along what my desires for my life were and are - to be a godly wife and mother - and He knew because He was the one in the first place to give me those dreams and desires, and yet I shunned that gift. However, when I was ready to embrace those desires and dreams again, it was as if I said to God, "OK, I'm ready - bring it on." And when it didn't transpire according to my plan I act like a spoilt child, and my focus becomes one of marriage.

I haven't lived my life for that, and I don't really want to start now. I never was one of those girls in HS, nor college were I spoke of marriage being something central in my life.

I guess my brother's comment sparked the thought that I need to keep letting go, in fact my brother made another comment in the course of the drive that prompted me to think that I haven't let go as well as I thought I had, and that I really do need to let it go, and as my brother stated, have that "closure."

So two lessons to take - both precipated by comments from my baby brother (he can be wise at times, although stayed tuned for another blog wherein I won't be quite so concillatory towards him!!!)...

1) Seek closure and act on the principle of closure
2) Remove talk of marriage from my vocabulary