seeing clearly

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...It's gonna be a bright, sunshiny day!!

I'm sure there is more to the song than that, but that's all I remember - in part because when I was in High School this musician of sorts came and sang the song but tweaked the lyrics to be:

I can see "Claire" now that "Lorraine" is gone...!!!

I never did appreciate the tweak of lyrics, but I digress.

You would think that after the rain is gone and in turn the dark, grey clouds have dissipated that you could see clearly/clearer now. For me I seem to search for the grey clouds and even if none are on the horizon, I create them in my mind, and therefore prepare for the rain. A contingency plan if you will. It may be all sun-shiny and blue skies right now, but inevitably the rain is going to hit again, so rather than relax and soak up the rays of now, I begin to formulate a plan to cope once the rain hits.

This vein of thought runs in direct opposition to what God seeks from me in my walk with Him, to trust Him. In a strange way it is easier for me to trust Him when the storms are swirling, than to trust Him when the sun is shining. It isn't something I'm proud of, nor something that I would encourage anyone to strive towards, but it does give my pause for thought.

I believe that this year God has been teaching me very directly do I trust Him?! At various points throughout this year I know God has asked that question, and I know at times the question echoed around, an answer not forthcoming; and other times I responded with resounding "yes." Additionally at times my actions lived out the "yes," and other times I quite frankly lived without exercising that trust. The truth of the matter is I do trust Him, and as the end of this year is fast approaching I realize that the verse I claimed at the start of the year "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" is proving to ring very true.

All this to say it is my hope and therefore prayer that as the year does draw to a close that I continue to trust in the Lord/on the Lord with ALL my heart, and that I continue to remember that my understanding has not served me well at all this year, and to keep that in mind. Furthermore, that I should embrace the words of the "I can see clearly now" song and to live in the radiant glow of the bright sun-shiny sun that is currently shining, and to cease looking for grey clouds, for while it is inevitable that they will come, nothing good is served by either looking for them or even anticipating them.