I'm getting married in 30 days, can you believe it? I can't. Not really. There are many items left on the ultimate "to do" list and that aside just thinking about getting married seems mind boggling. Earlier today I was mentioning to a friend about the three top things we have to accomplish just this week: wedding bands, restaurant for the later dinner (we did have an option but unfortunately they are going out of business), and monkey suits for Guillaume and his fellow monkeys. I made a face, I think, and further mentioned that my ultimate desire is to just hop skip over all of "this" and to just be married.
A veteran of marriage -- married himself, and been engaged in countless premarital sessions with other couples, he smiled and said "Getting married is like falling off of a cliff, just before you actually fall your whole life flashes before your eyes -- in that split second a lifetime spans the mind..." So on that day -- September 13 -- when I stand opposite Guillaume and prepare to make a commitment for life, a commitment to love, honor, and respect - him, that the past weeks of preparation and checking the list and checking it twice (yes, Santa has been coaching me, thankfully I don't have to decide who's been naughty or nice), that all this will rush through my mind, and before I know it I will be walking back down the aisle known as Mrs. Eleanor Egles!
I appreciated the analogy of getting married being liking falling off of a cliff. For me it is slightly similar to when I went sky diving (yep, four years ago I leapt - ha - out of a plane). My older brother David had jumped numerous times, and in fact had logged 16 (I may just have made that number up, but something along those lines) solo jumps. I was only going to do a tandem jump. But because he had experienced skydiving himself he was quick to share wisdom on what to do, how you hold your arms, what it feels like, and we had seen video footage of his jumps so there was an inkling of what to expect.
The day approached to jump - October 30, 2004 - and the family left early to travel down to Hollister for the jump. Ronnie and Olesia, my younger brother and "sister" were also jumping that same day. The nerves are starting to kick in -- the fact that I'm about to jump out of a plane and race to the ground is now just starting to sink in. Until I was actually in the plane, all suited up, it didn't quite hit what I was about to do. The instructor cues you, snaps you on to him, and before you know it, whoosh out of the airplane door you fly, and down, down you soar, the wind rushing at you, pulling at your face, your muscles contorted this way and that, and then bam - the parachute is pulled and you zoom up slightly, and ease into a gentle, strangely enough soothing descent -- those first few minutes of instantaneous rush have passed, and now you get to enjoy the ride. No amount of prepping from my older brother prepared me for it -- sure, it gave me a deeper understanding, maybe clued me into what I should watch for, but it didn't prepare me for actually experiencing the dive and fall and the rush of emotions - from exhilaration to fear to joy to amazement -- all there.
So, I'm thinking getting married, a wedding is akin to skydiving. No amount of sound advice and wisdom and knowledge that is offered fully prepares you for the day -- yes it gives you perspective, it gives you a broader knowledge base, but until you experience it yourself, you still can't grasp the overwhelming moment that is about to take place. Additionally I know that those first moments of the day, at some point I'm going to be hit with the soaring, I can't believe I'm throwing myself out of an airplane emotion, and then I will settle in for the ride and will enjoy the day with all its intricacies and beauty, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be feeling those same mix of emotions as when I jumped: exhilaration, fear, joy, amazement -- and LOVE, love for the man I'm committing to, love for the family and friends that stand to witness our commitment and pledge to also stand with us as walk this new road, and love for the GOD who loves me so tenderly and so dearly that not only did he send his son, Jesus, to die on a cross for me -- which is more than enough, more than I ever deserve, but he also gifted me with the most amazing and most treasured man -- Guillaume.
On that note I must give in to the sleep that calls me, and I think I'll be blogging next about how the internet is both my "best" friend and worst enemy...especially when it comes to sleeping!!!